Why I suck at Studying

How is Civilisation 5 so woefully addictive?

The amount of time that has been sunk into what is effectively a black hole (in the guise of a video game no less), has left me trembling with the knowledge of the damage it could quite happily cause to my grades. Reddit eat your heart out.

For those that are unaware of what is involved with this game, you are a legendary general/monarch of a country; think of Queen Boudica or Queen Elizabeth or Napoleon or George Washingon. You are tasked with the aim to dominate the other surrounding nations and make them your bitch over a number of centuries, in any of a multitude of ways: a cultural, military, diplomatic or scientific win. I ended up winning the game via the scientific route in which you literally aim for the stars and win the race to a moon landing.

I had never previously fathomed even the idea of turn-based strategy games before – the idea of staring numbly at a screen, hoping you aren’t twatted around the back of a head by an oncoming tank seems caveman-esque in its simplicity. But as you may have imagined, I eventually bought the game. It was on a Steam sale for maybe £7 – dangerous move considering I had no clue what would eventually entail- after vaguely remembering it had a decent score from a reputable game reviewer.

I sat down listening to the loading screen music for maybe five minutes as the game loaded. And continued to load for an age – at this point my laptop seemed primed for a take off out of the window, based on the jet engine noises dispersing out of the sides. I endured and I tried the tutorial, picking a random a country that I can not even vaguely remember the name of. The only thing I can remember from this gaming session was my undying hatred for the Russian leader, Catherine – DIE. Periodically Catherine would leer at my almighty kingdom of awesome and claim that my army is puny- lies!! My hatred would intensify as I tried to populate a new stretch of land; the she-devil cut me off, leaving me unable to tend to the abundant elephants (controversially is considered a trading luxury) that I required; this is war!

But not today. As I checked my watch I gazed in horror that I had blitzed away four hours on merely the tutorial, JESUS CHRIST! My quasi-campaign to annihilate the Russians was cut off, and they were shown mercy.

The following day however would change this. A new country and campaign beckoned as I, Napoleon of France, sought to bring Russia to justice. After being again taunted by the she devil, I invaded Russia later on in the game. I didn’t care about nearby Japan or the imposing Greece, no, this is a vendetta to end Moscow and its Kremlin. It took me many turns to fortify my ranks but I was ready to steamroll her. After realizing that she would be plumped like froi gras she begged for mercy, but my tanks surrounded and obliterated her cities; sweet victory.

And this leads to the main problem. Why should I write about the pros and cons of the BBC and ITV when I can destroy Ramses’ kingdom? The violence has no play in this but it is this act of procrastination that plays a crucial role as to why I suck at studying.

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